Comments on Feminism Online: A Mother's Heartache

Yech. So in other words his tantrums were entirely...

2007-02-19T03:24:00.000-05:00

Yech. So in other words his tantrums were entirely calculated.

Moving sounds a good solution if the move is to have an experience not just avoid one.

Zoe,He showed up at my place when I had made it cl...

2005-06-23T18:31:00.000-05:00

Zoe,

He showed up at my place when I had made it clear that I didn't want to see him anymore. I was tired of living in fear and called the police. They came and escorted him away from my door. I did it more to have something like that on record "just in case." It sounds horrible, but if I came up missing I wanted the police to know where to look. :(

Anyhow, it scared him off and he stopped harassing me. I think the fear of being arrested was stronger than his lunacy. That's why I think you should get the police invovled with the next incident. It sounds drastic, but it worked for me.

Thanks you two. She has kept some of the emails & ...

2005-06-23T13:39:00.000-05:00

Thanks you two. She has kept some of the emails & MSN chat stuff. One of her supporting friends even started a blog about his abuse. I'd like to ask her for the site & maybe contribute if her friend still has it.

I asked her to provide me the material she has saved but she didn't seem keen on it. The one good thing about this is she does have a dear friend who has told her if she doesn't tell us everything, then she will & she will give us the information herself if she has too because she does have it. She has also threatened to go to the police on behalf of our daughter.

We did talk about the option of her relocating. She refuses to alter her life because of his harrassment.

I'm thinking what might stop the lunatic is me or her dad in his face. He sort of feared us anyway. I'd like to go to his pastor who lives across the street from us & blow this supposed Christian young man's sweet-as- pie reputation out the window. Thing is, we won't be believed either. We'll get accused of being heretics who don't go to church anymore & his parents are well respected in the church as well as parents in the local Christian school...blech. I still think me in his face is best but she says they'll all start saying, "Boo hoo hoo, little girl cried to her mommy"...you know crap like that. Who cares what they say though really? Look at what they say now! Maybe they'll all shut the **** up if I threaten to show up on their door steps too. Of course, that will get turned around & I'll be the offender. Geesh.

Stellar, did the police confront him? Is that why it stopped?

Zoe,It's so incredible to think that as strong as ...

2005-06-23T10:04:00.000-05:00

Zoe,

It's so incredible to think that as strong as we are, we still have to deal with crazed acts like your daughter's ex. And they seem to occur all too frequently. My heart goes out to her because it seems she either has to choose another school and forfeit the awesome life she's built for herself, or deal with a lunatic.

However, Zoe, I know you know how important it is to get this stuff on some police records. Also, I had a similar instance happen to me once and it wasn't until I called the police that the lunatic finally left me alone. Maybe that will be all it takes for your daughter's ex too?

I'm so sorry that your daughter is going through t...

2005-06-23T09:19:00.000-05:00

I'm so sorry that your daughter is going through this.

If she does want to report it to police, it may be an idea for her to start recording the dates/times of the incidents so that she can present a record of what has been going on. Although it is still tough for the police to pin something on stalkers who behave in such a calculated manner, the more evidence they have the better.

Tell your daughter that although her friends have behaved awfully, at least she now knows that they are unreliable. It hurts when people let you down but in the long run, its better to know their true selves.